I don’t know a single woman who hasn’t had a hair debacle. I had my 379th hair trauma last week in preparation for a wedding that I’m not even going to go to.

I was at the mall shopping for a dress- beach casual, whatever that is, and feeling incredibly frustrated because where I live, there aren’t many weddings requiring beach casual attire and none of the sales clerks knew what I was talking about. I tried on dress after dress (none of which looked good except for a dress made for evening wear- decidedly not beach casual) and even phoned a friend from a dressing room to get a second opinion.

Finally, I picked a dress out, but only after making sure that I could return it if I kept the receipt- it looked all right, but was a little bit out of my price range. After that, I needed some help to feel better about myself- I thought getting my hair done would help.

I was wrong.

I went to a place in the mall, which is usually a no-no, but since I haven’t been in the city long, I don’t have a regular hair dresser. The hair stylist was nice, cute, and a little bubbly- I thought getting highlights from her would be the perfect antidote for my shopping blues. It wasn’t. As I learned the hard way, most experienced hair dressers do not look like they have just graduated from beauty school- as it turns out, she may have even been a beauty school drop-out with the way my hair turned out. The color was wrong and I had to have a re-do, which left me looking like a tiger, only without the RAWR.

The salon offered to set me up with a “more experienced stylist” the next day, but I said no. They charged enough that they shouldn’t have hired an incompetent stylist in the first place. Instead, I went to another salon where I was told it would take two more steps to “fix” my hair.

When she was finished, I still wasn’t exactly impressed, but it did look better. She then asked me if I was going to come back to finish the process at which point I told her I wasn’t sure- she then told me that I was one of those people who will never be happy and are always negative.

I told the manager and disagreed heartily with her assessment. Obviously, she never read my article about “Dishwasher Chicken”.

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